


No Seats & A Knife

by sanchothevirgo



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), Z Nation (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-18 04:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17573480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanchothevirgo/pseuds/sanchothevirgo
Summary: It had been three years since Addison Carver had seen many of her friends, her family. It had been a long time since she had seen anyone she cared for, and she was beginning to become very bitter about it.But in just one day, she got everyone back. Well… mostly everyone. She had her little brother, her mom, her dad, her entire family… with the exception of the little girl she raised from a child into a mature, young woman.In this absolute shit post fanfiction, we will tackle trauma, grief, love, gay, and just fuckin’ absolute ape shit. This fic takes place in a post season 4 world, after the team gets back together with Addy, Red, and Sun Mei. Plus, Sarge is still alive because the writers are in complete denial that she ever died. Yay! Sort of… how we think season 5 should have gone… more or less.Written by me @sanchothevirgo (tumblr @glitteryssahotchner) co-written with @Lizzy_Writes (tumblr @lizzysong)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, while reading this, keep in mind that this just started out as a shitpost roleplay type thing on Tumblr. My good friend Lizzy (Lizzy_Writes on Ao3) (lizzysong on tumblr (please follow her, she is truly amazing)) and I were just bullshitting, but we decided to edit it up and post it here for your amusement.
> 
> ALSO  
> This is under the A Series of Unfortunate Events tag because there will be mentions of it (they take place in the same universe in this fic) and we might, at some point, give the Baudelaires or Quagmires a couple chapter arch, if we're feeling frisky.

“Let’s see what’s in my friend 10K’s car… that banana looks good… part of a cookie… he has no seats and a knife…”

===

“Hey, what the fuck,” Addy walked over to Lieutenant Roberta Warren, the leader of the team she had been part of for so long, years ago. “No one stopped 10K from pulling the seats out of his car?”  
It had been three years since Addy had been with her surrogate apocalypse little brother, she had almost forgotten how absolutely insane he gets without adult supervision, and after driving around with him in his ripped up car, she was beginning to wonder if everyone else had forgotten that, too.  
“It was on fire,” Warren shrugged, as if it was nothing out of the ordinary.  
After a moment of hesitation, Addy decided to lean in and whisper, “Did… did he set the fire?”  
“… Unrelated note, we were nowhere near anywhere that may have had a massive fire at any point of time, specifically two months ago, specifically in Texas.”  
Addy looked over at Doc and 10k, who nodded and awkwardly looked away, and then back at Warren with a small smirk, “…I really missed you guys.”  
“So, uh… what were you guys doing in Texas, anyways?”  
“That’s a long story, baby girl…”

===

Lieutenant Roberta Warren, Ten Thousand, Stephen “Doc” Beck, Alvin Murphy and Sargent Lilly Maddison Meuller or “Sarge” had just escaped being murdered in a barber shop surrounded by what looked like nuclear fallout bubble bath.  
10K, being the dumb chaotic good he was, alone with Sarge, a chaotic neutral, who would not stop him from doing stupid shit, ate previously mentioned nuclear fallout bubble bath. And that’s only the set up to this story, so forget about that shit.  
10K got sick from eating the nuclear fallout, you know, as you would expect if you ate nuclear fallout (even if it did look like bubble bath). And on their way to NewMerica, the team caught wind of a hospital that may have still had medicine left (which seemed almost impossible, considering the apocalypse had been going on for eight years).  
By time the team had gotten to the hospital, they realized that it was full of Zombies, which was to be expected, if there was really still any medicine left there.  
“Doc and I are gonna scope the place out. Keep an eye on them,” Warren spoke quietly to Murphy, glancing at Sarge and a hallucinating 10K.  
However, as soon as Doc and Warren left, 10K got the best idea ever!  
“Look, what if we just… set the car on fire… and drove through the hospital,” he pointed towards the glass doors of the hospital. “And we just… distract all the Z’s… a little bit.”  
“That is an absolutely horrible idea and we should definitely do it,” Sarge nodded in agreement. “Murphy, do you have a lighter?”  
The older man tossed a box of matches at her and wandered off, going to do whatever it was he did. Stopping the youngest members of the team from doing stupid shit was far above his pay grade and he would not be doing that.  
Within minutes, Sarge and 10K were driving 50 miles per hour down a hospital corridor, on fire. This is when 10K realizes that it would be super badass if he had a pet turtle. This isn’t relevant to the story. It’s just important to me that you know. 

Meanwhile, outside of the hospital, Doc realized there was smoke coming from inside. He turned to Warren and asked, “... Has the hospital always been on fire?”  
“What!?” The woman turned around so fast that Doc thought she’d get whiplash. “... Those idiots! I can’t take them anywhere!”

And back inside, 10K stopped the car (yes, he had been driving. Sarge never learned how. Neither did 10K, but he had more experience… even though he was completely delirious at the time.) Anyways, by now Z’s were swarming the parked car and before the kids could start fighting them off, 10K just up and fucking passed out. This left Sarge alone with an unconscious 10K, an on fire car, and at least 50 Zombies… Things were really… heating up. Get it? Because the car was on fire? Hah…  
That’s where things started getting a little crazy- yes, you heard right, things weren’t crazy before. Because that was when Sarge realized that 10K- bless that dumb boy- had parked the car right next to a room full of oxygen tanks… and we all know what happens when fire meets oxygen… BOOM!  
Sarge was stabbing Zombies left and right, total badass, exuding Chaotic Idiot energy, when Doc and Warren finally found them.  
“Holy shit, kids! What did you get yourselves into!?” Doc shouted, bringing out two hammers he carried around with him at all time. “Oh, crap! Are those oxygen tanks!?”  
“Don’t worry! I’ve got a plan!” Sarge shouted, crawling back into the car while Doc and Warren tried to fend off the Z’s.  
“Is it a smart plan!?”  
“Pfft, Warren. Please. It’s me. Smart? Never. But fun? Always.”  
“Oh, dear God, we’re all going to die!” Warren shouted, stabbing a Z in the head. She had her guns on her, but she knew that if one of those bullets ricochetted and hit on of the oxygen tanks, they would all die.  
Inside the car, Sarge was now removing the on fire seats, which was very complicated and resulted in the charring of her shoes and completely destroying not one but two crowbars.  
Doc and Warren were now back to back, surrounded by no less than forty Zombies who were all ready to cronch on some delicious brains.  
“Where the hell is Murphy!?” Doc shouted. It was times like this when he had to prepare to meet his maker… surrounded by Zombies, about to die, help nowhere near… “Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country!”  
“Got it!” Sarge shouted, pushing the back seats out of the car, “Let’s go!”

Doc and Warren climbed into the car and Warren drove them out of the hospital, while the Z’s became attracted to the fire like moths to a flame. They didn't even bother moving 10K out of the driver's seat, he was just awkwardly leaning over while Warren drove.  
Within minutes, they were out of the hospital, past the parking lot, when the oxygen tanks finally blew. The entire hospital went up in flames behind them as they drove away.

“God…” Sarge whispered as they pulled to a stop, about a mile from the explosion. “I hope Murphy was in there…”

 

===

 

“... I take it he wasn’t dead?” Addy asked, glancing over at the red man, who was leaning against a tree a couple of feet away.  
Warren shook her head, “No. But he had managed to get the drugs we needed before the hospital exploded. And 10K is alive because of that, so we can’t be too mad that he’s still alive.”  
“Why did he even care? He never cared about anyone else before.”  
“I think he mostly just wanted to do something that we failed to do. Purely out of spite, you know?”  
“That sounds more like it,” Addy nodded, laughing softly. “But he got the right drugs?”  
“He grabbed everything that could fit into this purse he stole off some dead lady. Antibiotics, opiates, everything he could get his hands on.”  
“That… sounds more like him, to be honest. Stealing from dead ladies.” Addy nodded, before moving on to a more pressing matter, “Oh! Did 10K remember anything when he woke up?”  
“Uh… well…”

===

“Did… Was there a turtle?” 10K frowned, confused, looking around the car as Warren drove them towards wherever her own hallucinations were leading them.  
“You were hallucinating, baby,” Warren glanced back at him in the rear view mirror.  
“... Where did the seats go? Didn't there use to be seats back here…?”  
Sarge, sitting in the now seatless backseat with 10K who was laying down next to her, answered a bit too quickly, “I don’t think so.”  
“Hey,” Warren caught the attention of the team once more. “If anyone asks--”  
“--We were nowhere near Texas,” The group chipped in, knowing the drill by now. At this point, there were only like two cities left in America that they could admit to being in.

===

“Okay, so… Two things,” Addy turned to the young boy. “I’m going to get you a new car… one that has a backseat. And… YOU ATE NUCLEAR FALLOUT!?”  
“But I like my car!” 10K complained, slinging his arm around Sarge, “It has character!”  
“And we don’t do much sittin’ back there… if you know what I mean,” Sarge pressed her lips together, suppressing a grin.  
“It’s a lot more comfortable to do that with seats back there. Trust me… And you’re really just going to ignore that you ate nuclear fallout?”  
“We do just fine,” Sarge winked.  
“I don’t-” 10K shrugged, “Sarge didn't stop me!”  
“Okay, fine. Enjoy your half burnt car with no seats. …And you… needed someone to tell you not to eat toxic shit?”  
“Well, to be fair, it did look like bubble bath.”  
“Not sure how that makes it better,” Sarge narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend.  
“That doesn’t make it better; in fact that makes it a lot more concerning. But why didn’t you stop him if you were with him?” Addy turned her attention to Sarge.  
“You don’t know me! I don’t owe you any explanation!” She absolutely just fucking yeets because she doesn’t want to have to answer to Addy. She doesn’t have to answer to anyone! She was a marine! She was badass! No number of 10K’s overprotective family could spook her! But yea, she yeeted. Several feet away.  
Addy raised her eyebrows at 10K questioningly and he shrugged and looked away awkwardly before she turned her attention back to Warren, “You’ve had your hands full with those two, huh?”  
“Oh, Baby Girl, you have no idea,” Warren laughed. “It’s been so long since I’ve had another, actual, human girl around. Sarge doesn’t count because I’m not quite sure she’s human.”  
“I’ve missed you, too,” Addy wrapped her arms around Warren in a hug. “And the weirdos.”  
“Hey!” 10K complained, defensively.  
“Don’t be ashamed of what you are, 10K!”  
“... If she is considering everyone besides us normal, she is sorely mistaken,” Sarge muttered, “Has she not met Doc? Has she not met Murphy?”  
“I was including them, too,” Addy laughed. “Honestly, Warren is the only one I consider normal around here… and that’s including myself.”  
“... I love your sister, 10K. I seriously might love her more than I love you.”  
Addy laughed and winked at Sarge while 10K’s eyes widened in embarrassment.  
“Okay, you two,” Warren said, with a small amused smile on her lips, as she walked over to the young boy and patted him on the back. “Stop teasing my baby boy.”  
“What? I love him. I’m in love with him. But… I mean… look at her,” Sarge gestured towards Addy.  
“Sarge! That’s my sister you’re talking about!”  
“Wait… Where are Murphy and Doc? They were just here…” Warren looked around for the men.  
“No, no. Let her keep talking. I haven’t been complimented in a long time,” Addy turned back to Sarge, no one else even paying attention to Warren. “You should’ve seen me when I still had both eyes!”  
“What the hell are those two up to?” Warren climbed up onto 10K’s car to get a better look around.  
“No, no, I love the pirate thing. Major fantasy of mine pre-Z,” She stared, seductively, at her boyfriend’s sister. “And no offense but I just don’t think 10K could pull it off.”  
“I don’t know, add a hook and a floppy hat, with, like, a feather in it or something? I can see that working.”  
10K gave Warren an extremely uncomfortable look, silently begging for help.  
“A hook hand would really do it for me,” Sarge nodded, glancing over at 10K.  
“Addy! I expect this from Sarge, but you’re better than this! Stop flirting with your brother’s girlfriend! And stop giving her advice on her weird fantasies!” Warren shouted. “Now, seriously, where the hell are Doc and Murphy!?”  
“Thank you,” 10K muttered to Warren from the corner of his mouth.  
Addy, slightly shocked at Warren’s outburst, turned her attention to the woman on the car, “... Puppies and kittens?”  
“Puppies and kittens,” Warren nodded, finally spotting the men in a horde of Z’s. “Let’s roll out, kids.”  
She hopped down from the roof of the car and started walking in that direction with a purpose.  
“You know, Lieutenant,” Sarge hurried over to Warren, her gun at the ready. “One day I’m gonna be your daughter-in-law. Even if 10K dies in some tragic accident, I’ll just marry his sister. If she dies, I will find any other child you might have and marry them. We’re gonna be family.”  
“... I can’t tell whether that’s romantic or really scary,” 10K said, slightly worried, as he pulled his sniper rifle from over his shoulder.  
“Romantic,” Addy decided, her Z-Whacker at the ready. “Definitely romantic.”  
The three of them followed Warren as she tracked down Doc and Murphy, trying to remember where she’d seen them from the top of the car.  
Before they could get to the men, another swarm of Z’s ran over towards the three girls and 10K.  
“Where the hell are they!?” Addy shouted, smacking one of the Z’s in the head with her Z-Whacker, effectively killing it.  
10K blasted the head clean off of another Zombie, “Doc!?”  
Sarge smashed the butt of her gun into one Z’s nose, “Dickhead!?”  
“Guessin’ that’s her name for Murphy?” Addy asked, smashing in another Zombie head.  
“Yup,” Warren nodded, slicing a Z’s head in half with her machete. “Where the hell did they go!?”  
“My best guess is… they were kidnapped, enslaved, and brutally murdered. Oh, well, let’s call it a night,” Sarge shrugged in chaotic neutral.  
“No way,” Addy shook her head, “Doc can survive anything. …But yeah, Murphy might’ve been brutally murdered. We’ve all wanted to brutally murder him at one point or another.”  
“God, I hope he was brutally murdered…”  
“Okay, kids, a little less talking, a little more finding the rest of our team, okay?” Warren said, in a very motherly voice.  
10K’s eyes scanned the horde of Zombies, and his eyes stopped on a little red man, about a football field length away, “Murphy? Murphy!”  
“So… not brutally murdered, then…” Addy frowned.  
“This is so sad, Alexa, play despacito,” Sarge joked, as if this was pre-Z.  
The team of three women and 10K fought through the Z’s to get to Murphy and see what the fuck he was up to.  
“Wait, who’s Alexa?” 10K asked as they approached the red man.  
“What kind of gibberish…?” Murphy furrowed his eyebrows, looking at Warren, who just shrugged in response.  
“Where’s Doc?”  
“No idea. I figured he’d found his way back to you guys after we got split up by this horde of Z’s.”  
“How the hell do you lose an entire man!?” Warren smacked Murphy upside the head, as 10K began turning in circles, looking for his father figure.  
“Doc? Doc?!”  
“Hey, it’s Doc; he’s gonna be fine,” Addy assured the younger boy, placing her hand on his shoulder.  
“Ow! Hey, you lost us both while you were catching Addy up on the misadventures of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass over here,” Murphy said, gesturing between Sarge and 10K, which only succeeded in pissing off the young marine.  
“You sass her one more time and I will put a bullet in you!” She pointed her gun in between Murphy’s eyes.  
“I’m just worried, is all,” 10K rubbed the back of his neck, knowing by now to just ignore Sarge and Murphy whenever they started fighting. “What if something’s wrong?”  
“I know, but Doc has survived way too much to go out just ‘cause he got separated from — what’d Sarge call him? Dick head? — he’s survived way too much to go out just ‘cause he got separated from Dick Head over here.”  
“Only Warren gets to kill me and you know that,” Murphy rolled his eyes.  
“Don’t test me, you red freak!”  
“Alright, you two, settle down,” Warren placed her hand over Sarge’s gun. “Baby boy, you alright?”  
“Yea… I’m just going to go look for Doc,” the young boy shouldered his sniper rifle and started walking away from the rest of the group.  
“...Shit,” Addy muttered to herself before taking off after 10K. “Wait! I’ll go with you. You know how Doc hates it when we split up.”  
“We’re splitting up from Sarge and Warren and Murphy. Either way, we’re splitting up,” He shrugged. “Doc! Doc, where are you!?”  
“Yeah, well, he wouldn’t want you wandering around by yourself if you don’t have to! I’m coming with you!” She ran, struggling to keep up with him, wondering when exactly he’d gotten so goddamn fast.  
“10K?!” Doc’s voice called in return to the boy, though he was nowhere to be seen.  
“Doc!?” 10K shouted, ignoring his apocalyptic surrogate sister. He stopped walking, straining his ears to try and find where Doc’s voice was coming from.  
“Kid?! Is that you?!”  
“There,” Addy said, finally catching up to 10K and pointing in the direction of a small horde of Z’s that seemed to be surrounding someone.  
“Duck!”  
Doc barely had time to follow 10K’s instructions before bullets were flying. One, two, three, four, five, six bullets, with amazing accuracy. Each bullet hit it’s target just between the eyes.  
“Damn, Kid!” Doc smiled like a proud father as he ran to catch up with 10K and Addy, “How many is that?”  
“8, 032,” He grinned, before punching the older man in the arm. “I was worried about you! Why did you wander off!? I was worried about you!”  
“I was chasing after Murphy — bad things happen when we split up, but even worse things happen when he’s left to his own devices. Hey,” he added, realizing how relieved 10K seemed, “C’mere, Kid,” he pulled the boy into a firm, reassuring hug, “You're not getting rid of me that easy.”  
“Whatever,” He shrugged, trying to play it cool.  
“I love a heartfelt reunion as much as the next gal, but shouldn’t we be getting back to the rest of the team? Before Murphy gets lost again or worse- Sarge elopes with the next person or Z she meets?” Addy motioned back towards where they came from.  
“Yeah, we should get back to the others; even though Warren’s probably got Murphy under control,” Doc said and allowed Addy to lead the way back to the others. “So... Addy tried to steal your girlfriend, huh?” The man asked with an amused smile.  
“Yes! And Sarge was all over her! It was weird!” 10K complained, shouldering his gun once more. “They were talking about pirates! Warren had to make them stop!”  
Doc couldn’t help but laugh, “Pirates, huh?”  
“Wasn’t my fault,” Addy began walking backwards so she could face them as she spoke. “She liked my eyepatch!”  
“Gross,” 10K whined, like a child. “Doc, make her stop! And tell her not to flirt with my girlfriend!”  
“Addy,” Doc said, attempting a stern, fatherly tone, though it was difficult to hide his amusement at the situation, “Stop trying to steal your brother’s girlfriend. You and I both know your better at flirting than he is; it should be easy for you to get your own girl… Sorry Kid,” he added the last bit to the young boy.  
“Hey!”  
“Fine!” Addy groaned, as if this inconvenienced her beyond words. “It’s just so hard to find anyone in the apocalypse! And she’s adorable! Like, she could rip my limbs off… but in a cute way… But fine. She’s off limits.”  
“Good. And when Addy finally gets a girlfriend, you’re not going to try and steal her,” Doc turned towards 10K. “...Right? Because you already have two.”  
“Two? You’re still dating Red? Why do you get two and I can’t even find one?” Addy complained.  
“Because I’m adorable and you’re a monster,” He shrugged, and chose to continue speaking just to spite his sister. “Maybe by time you finally get one, I’ll be in the market for a third.”  
“Or maybe I’ll take both of your girlfriends, and then I’ll have three,” Addy growled through clenched teeth.  
“Or maybe I’ll kill you while you sleep!”  
“Okay! That escalated quickly!” Doc held his hands up, “Why don’t we stop having this conversation?”  
“You wouldn’t kill me ‘cause you wouldn’t waste your ammo on me,” She stuck her tongue out, ignoring their father figure’s words.  
“Hey,” Warren said in a stern tone as the three reached her, Murphy and Sarge, “Nobody’s killing anybody. And if I hear one more word about stealing girlfriends or killing each other — including Murphy!” She said with a pointed glance at Sarge, “I am taking everyone’s guns away until you all calm down. Is that understood?”  
Sarge pouted and ran over to 10K, hiding behind him. “Your mom is being mean!”  
“No, I second that. We can’t have you four at each other’s throats when more Z’s show up. We’re united. We’re a family. We all love each other- but not too much!” Doc gave Addy a pointed look. “Let’s all take a breath, calm down.”  
Addy sighed but nodded in agreement, holding her hand out to 10k as a truce.  
“Okay,” Warren said, “Good. Everybody just take a minute and calm down.”  
“For the record, I wasn’t at anyone’s throat,” Murphy said, getting a glare and another smack from Warren.  
Sarge glared at the red man as 10K shook hands with Addy, “When are we going to catch up with Red and the others? I miss having a girlfriend around who didn’t flirt with my sister upon meeting her.”  
Doc laughed lightly and clapped the boy on the back.  
“Let’s go get the cars,” Warren began leading the group of immature misfits back to where they left 10K’s and Warren’s cars.  
“Where was she headed?” Addy asked, referring to Red.  
“We got separated from her, Sun Mei and this other girl George while we were fighting a horde of Z’s a couple days ago,” Doc explained. “We were on a Talker run, you know how those can get… We were supposed to meet them back at our latest camp but we ran into you and got distracted.”  
“They’re probably there by now. If we start driving now, we could probably make it back in a couple hours… Where are the cars?” Warren frowned, looking at an empty field, where they had left the cars. “They were right here…”  
“Where did my car go!?” 10K freaked, looking around. “Some asshole stole my car!”  
“Language,” Warren gave him a stern mom look.  
“Who would want to steal that piece of shit?” Addy furrowed her eyebrows. “I mean, it runs and all but… it’s crap. It’s burnt and it has no backseat.”  
“Ugh, we’re going to have to walk back to camp,” Murphy groaned. “That could take until sundown!”  
“Then we better start walkin’,” Doc sighed. “Come on, folks, let’s roll out.”  
The six members of Delta-Xray-Delta were quickly back on the road, following Warren back to their latest campsite in hopes of finding the other three members of their team.  
Warren and Murphy led the group, a couple feet ahead of the other four who would spend the majority of the walk fucking around for no reason. Doc and Addy shared a joint of Z-Weed, while Sarge and 10K just naturally acted as if they were high when no one was around to stop them.  
The walk was several hours long, and as long as the team was happy, Warren wasn’t going to stop them from being complete idiots. Sometimes people just deserved to be happy- even in the hellish world that was the zombie apocalypse.


	2. Meeting George, Fighting Murphy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DXD meets up with the rest of their team and Murphy almost gets murdered. Just another Tuesday in the apocalypse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Folks! Chapter Two is officially up. Please, leave comments. I crave validation. This chapter is kind of angsty, I guess. But don't worry. The next chapter will probably be better- unless, of course, it's worse. I don't know.

While Operation Bite Mark walked on to catch up with the other members of their team, Addy couldn’t help but allow her mind to wander. She watched Sarge steal 10K’s jacket and wrap it around herself, and then the two of them play fight over it. It was sickeningly cute the way Sarge punched 10K, and the way he put her in a headlock. It was weird, but it was cute for them. She was perfect for 10K.  
But even as she tried to distract herself with how adorable they were together, Addy couldn’t help but be filled with an overwhelming amount of sadness and jealousy- not because she wanted Sarge for herself; she didn't. But she did want what they had- well, to some extent. She wanted a loving, committed relationship… without the weird stuff the two of them got up to.  
“Hey, you alright, Addy?” Doc placed his hand on her elbow, pulling her back from the group a ways.  
“Yea, I just…” She swallowed the lump she could feel rising in her throat, “I just think I’m lonely, Doc. It’s been a long time since… I’ve been around people.”  
“Well, that’s understandable. You’ve been alone for the better part of two years. It might take a while to really feel like you’ve reintegrated into the group,” Doc said, softly. “It’s hard. You’ve lost a lot. And as soon as you come back, you find that everything has changed. But don’t worry. You’ll be feeling like part of the group again in no time.”  
“It’s not just that…” Addy said, not entirely sure how to put her feelings into words. “I haven’t had anyone like… that,” she gestured to Sarge and 10K, “since Mack. …I-I wasn’t trying to steal her from him; it was just nice to have someone look at me like that again…” She shut her eyes then, trying to fend off oncoming tears.  
Doc nodded, “Oh, I get it. You miss having a significant other. The apocalypse will really put a strain on anyone’s dating life. The Kid’s only got two girlfriends because they are the only three kids left on earth. Probably. I don’t know. But you keep kickin’ ass the way you do, everyone in a ten mile radius will be lining up to take you out. I mean, there is barely anyone in a ten mile radius due to everyone being dead, but the people that are alive? They’ll be comin’. Warren and I will have to start fightin’ them off.”  
Addy couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of that, “Thanks, Doc.”  
She stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around the taller man. It wasn’t until a couple minutes later that she popped the question that had been in the back of her mind all day.  
“How did that happen, anyways?” She nodded towards 10K and Sarge, “Are they all as bad at flirting as he is?”  
“I have no idea. I was there the whole time. He did nothing to try and get with her. He spent the whole first year he knew her, talking about getting back to Red. And then one day, she just jumped him. And then when we met back up with Red… they just all sort of… came together in one, weird, awkward relationship.”  
“Well if there’s one thing 10K knows how to do well, it’s being awkward,” Addy said with a loving smile, “I’m glad he found them, though. He deserves to be happy.”  
“They really do love each other, those three weirdos,” Doc chuckled, watching as 10K picked Sarge up with his good arm and swung her around.  
“Not far now!” Warren shouted back at the group, which was great news for her because Murphy would not stop complaining about his feet hurting. 10K put Sarge down and Addy and Doc ran to catch up with them.  
“I think that’s it!” 10K pointed to a campsite, maybe the length of two blocks away. The camp was small. It consisted of six small makeshift tents and a small campfire. It looked cozy.  
“Finally!” Sarge grinned, “I miss Red and I hate Murphy. That second part has nothing to do with being back at camp; I just hate him.”  
Murphy rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything in response. Instead, the group just ran the rest of the way to camp, where Sun Mei and Red were awaiting their arrival just outside of the medical tent.  
“Sarge! 10K!” Red dropped her tools and ran to her significant others. She tackled them both in a group hug and peppered their faces with kisses.  
“You survived that horde of Z’s,” 10K smiled, awkwardly trying to get her to stop hiding his face. “What a relief.”  
“Hey, Doctor Lady,” Doc gave Sun Mei a sort of one armed hug. “Look who we found! It’s Addy!”  
“Sun Mei!” Addy smiled and enveloped the doctor in a hug.  
“Addy! You made it!”  
“Georgia! Come out here!” Warren shouted out into the air, not fully sure which tent she was in, but knowing that she had to come meet Addy.  
“Warren?” George called out as she walked out of her tent, smiling when she saw the woman. “Oh, thank god you made it; we were starting to get worried!”  
Warren laughed and wrapped her arms around the young woman in a hug, “Come on, baby, I’ve got someone for you to meet. My second in command, super badass, super amazing, super hot- George, meet Addison Carver. Addy, meet Georgia St. Clair. You’ve both saved my live on numerous occasions, I’m sure you’ll get along great.”  
“Addison Carver, I’ve heard a lot about you,” George said to the young woman with a smile, extending her hand for Addy to shake, “I’m happy to finally meet you.”  
Addy stared at George for a moment, barely comprehending what she was saying. After a moment she nodded and shook George’s hand, “Uh, Addy, you can call me Addy. It’s nice to meet you, too. I’ve heard rumors about how you started NewMerica — it’s really impressive.”  
“Oh god,” Red whispered from where she was still standing with Sarge and 10K, “Tommy, go help your sister. She’s doing that same thing you do when you get overwhelmed.”  
“What?” 10K frowned, having no idea what his girlfriend was going on about, “I don’t get it. What am I missing?”  
Doc, however, caught on rather quickly. Cupid heard her wish and he was smiling upon her. And who was Doc not to help Cupid out? “You know, Addy, George here is single. Addy’s single. You’re both single. What a time to be single, huh?”  
Addy could feel the heat of embarrassment rushing to her cheeks, something she hadn’t felt since she was a teenager, and gave Doc an incredulous look.  
George on the other hand let out a light laugh and nodded, “Hard to find people in the apocalypse, isn’t it? I think you might be the first woman my age that I’ve met in over a year.”  
“Uh, yea… same,” Addy forced an awkward laugh, swinging her Z Whacker around by her leg.  
“Oh, yea, Addy was just telling me about her endeavors looking for a relationship. But I said, this is the apocalypse! What can you do? And then we just stumble onto our camp, on another single person. What are the chances?”  
At this point, Warren was overwhelmed with second hand embarrassment for her surrogate daughter, “Doc, please stop talking.”  
George smiled, both amused and touched by the old man’s attempt to help Addy — even if it was in the most embarrassing way she could imagine,“…Why don’t I show you around the camp?”   
“Yes, please, take me away from this situation,” Addy exhaled, thankfully, desperate to get away from Doc.  
“You be good kids,” Doc called after them as they hurried away. “Doors open! Two feet on the ground at all times!”  
“There are no doors!” George shouted back with a laugh.   
“I’m sorry about them,” Addy smiled softly as they talk off. “I haven’t seen them in so long. I almost forgot they were… the way they are.”  
“No. don’t apologize. I think it’s sweet the way you all look out for each other. Not a lot of people act like a family in that way anymore… I’m just surprised Sarge didn’t try to get involved.”  
“Oh, yea, I’m not allowed to talk to her anymore,” Addy half-joked. “I was hitting on her and 10K got all butthurt. As if it’s my fault his girlfriend has a pirate fetish. I didn't ask to lose my eye. I’ll take attention where I get it.”  
George laughed, “Wish I could be surprised, but honestly nothing you could tell me about Sarge would surprise me. …And for what it’s worth, the craftsmanship in that eye patch is very impressive. Did you make it yourself?”  
“Uh… sort of, yea. This kid Lucy helped me. We were together for two years. Just us… but uh… she didn’t make it… As I learned earlier today,” A certain sadness filled her eyes. “Because her dad is a piece of shit.”  
George nodded and placed a gentle hand on Addy’s shoulder, “I’m sorry. It’s hard to lose people like that… Especially when it could’ve been prevented.”  
“I protected her for her whole life. Since she was, like, six years old. And I let her out of my site for a minute and her dad just up and gets her killed. As if I didn’t hate him enough…” Her grip tightened on her Z Whacker until her knuckles turned white. “He didn't even raise her. I raised her. This guy who was trying to kidnap her raised her. We were better parents to her than that asshole ever was… And I had to throw him off of a roof.”  
“Why did you hate him before that? —I’m sorry if that’s forward; I know we don’t really know each other yet.”  
“He got my last boyfriend killed… He’s gotten a lot of good people killed. He’s Murphy. He ruins lives,” She shrugged.  
“I’m sorry. …I knew I didn’t trust him, but I didn’t know the extent of what he’s done. To be honest, the only reason we let him in was because Warren vouched for him.”  
Addy ran her hand through her tangled hair, “I… don’t know why I’m unloading all of this onto you. We just met. It’s been a long time since I’ve been around people I trust enough to talk to. Sorry…”  
George shook her head a little, “I understand. It’s hard to be alone for so long.”  
“I was never alone before. I had a family pre-Z. Mom. Brother. Then I was with Mack from Day One. And then I had Operation Bite Mark. I spent some time with this weird female cult. Went back to Operation Bite Mark. And even when I thought everyone else was dead… I had Lucy. And then I was alone. And my only goal was to get to NewMerica. Get to Lucy… and she died. The one person I lived for… for two years… died. And I didn’t get to even say goodbye.”  
George was at a loss for words — of course, Addy’s was not the first story she’d heard about losing everyone close; she herself had lost nearly everyone close to her, but Addy’s was hard to hear. Maybe it was because the person who had caused so much of her pain was here with them in NewMerica. She placed a hand on Addy’s upper arm, “I’m sorry. …But your here now; you don’t have to be alone anymore.”   
She nodded, a small smile making its way onto her lips, because George was right. She wasn’t alone, “My family is here. My apocalypse mom, my apocalypse dad. My apocalypse little bro- and his weird girlfriends. I think I’m going to be okay.”  
George smiled and nodded a little, “You will be. NewMerica is a safe place for everyone.”  
“Ugh, I’m so emotional,” Addy made a fake gagging sound. “Now I have to go kill something so you’ll think I’m badass.”  
George laughed, “Well, I do need someone to patrol the perimeter with me. I was going to ask your brother if he wanted to help, but if you’re in the mood to kill something…”  
“I’m always in the mood to kill something,” Addy grinned, resting her Z Whacker on her shoulder. “Besides… we gotta let the kids catch up.”  
George nodded slightly, smiling at the thought of patrolling with the young woman Warren had been talking up to her for the past month, “Probably a good idea.”  
“Lead the way,” No one even had to talk George up to Addy because just looking at the woman, Addy was completely smittened. Her hair, even when messy and caked in dirt, looked perfect. And her arms- oof. She could put Addy in a chokehold and the redhead would probably thank her-- no, that sounded weird. She shouldn’t even think that. And don’t even get her started on George’s coat. It was long and flowy, yet somehow tight around her arms and, god, did Addy love her arms. This is really getting weird, Addy, stop thinking about her arms. We’re going to switch to another scene before Addy can make this any weirder.

===  
The team was gathered around a small campfire, Addy and George sitting close together- having hit it off even better than the others had expected- Red, Sarge and 10K crowded together on the opposite side of the two women and Warren, Doc, Sun Mei and Murphy sitting wherever there was still room, because let’s be honest, they aren’t who we’re here for.  
It was quite, besides the cackling of the fire and Sarge’s voice telling some crazy story about nuclear fallout bubble bath, because let’s be honest, it was her and 10K’s favorite story. Murphy and Doc kept trying to interrupt the story to try and explain how it was actually a very dangerous situation, but nobody cared for their input.  
Red had heard the story a thousand times and she was past the point of concern for her partners. At this point, she was just happy they were with her where she could stop them from doing stupid things. Sarge, leaning against her side. 10K laying with his head on her lap where she could play with his hair. That was really all she could ask for.   
“…Why did your brother eat nuclear fall out?” George muttered to Addy, whose head was resting on her shoulder. It was, admittedly, a very confusing story — at least the way Sarge told it — and the only thing George really was about to get from it was that 10K had eaten an absurd amount of nuclear fall out and proceeded to get very sick from it.  
“No one was there to stop him. That is the only reason he does anything stupid. Nobody was there to stop him but Sarge and… well, I’ve only just met her but she seems a bit… chaotic neutral,” Addy pursed her lips.  
“I was already in NewMerica,” Red nodded. “I didn’t take into account that my boyfriend is a dumbass when I left.”  
“Hey!” 10K complained.   
“It’s always dangerous to leave a chaotic good alone with a chaotic neutral,” George said with an amused smile. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d joked around like this. Millennial Lingo wasn’t some class they taught in NewMerica, almost no one understood her sense of humor.  
“Kids, please,” Warren sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I can’t listen to this conversation again.”  
Sarge groaned as people kept talking, “I’m trying to tell a story here!”  
“We all already know the story, demon child. Half of us were there, and the other half has heard this story half a million times,” Murphy rolled his eyes, which earned him a growl from the young marine. “What? Do you want to fight me?”  
“Don’t think just because you’re still alive that I forgot what you did to 10K,” Red had to actually hold her girlfriend back from biting Murphy. Sarge was known for having a bit of a short temper when it came to Murphy.  
Addy tilted her head, not sure what Sarge was referring to, “W-what do you mean, what he did to 10K?”  
“Nothing,” Warren leaned forward where she sat, trying to deescalate the situation. “Sargent, stand down.”  
“Yea, everyone is already over that,” Murphy rolled his eyes.  
Red clenched her jaw. She couldn’t stand back and just let this piece of shit spread false information, “I’m not over it! Literally, no one is over it!”  
10K pressed the palms of his hands firmly against his eyes as panic set in. He still had nightmares about it. Three years later and it still got to him, no matter how hard he tried not to think about it.   
“10K?” Addy looked over at her brother and noticed his instant change of mood, “What’s wrong? What did he do to you?”  
“Baby boy,” Warren turned her attention from Murphy, Red and Sarge to the young boy. “You’re okay. Just breathe.”  
“Let’s everybody just settle down,” Doc said, worriedly. “Take a couple deep breaths.”  
“I could kill him,” Sarge growled.   
“How does it always come back to this!?” Murphy rolled his eyes.  
“Come back to what!?” Addy shouted, wrapping her fingers around the Z-Whacker, “What did you do to my brother!?”  
10K swallowed hard and nodded slightly, trying to follow Warren’s advice and breathe, but his breaths were just becoming shallow as panic rose in his chest. He generally managed not to think about what had happened too much, but once in a while it still hit him. Hard. And he felt like he couldn’t breathe.   
George looked around at the group with combination of confusion and concern before exchanging a glance with Sun Mei, who shook her head slightly as if to warn George not to get involved.  
“Can you get them before they bash Murphy’s head in?” Warren asked Doc and Sun Mei who then rushed to stop Red and Sarge.  
Murphy scoffed, “He doesn’t even start freaking out until you idiots mention it!”   
“You aren’t there when he wakes up from nightmares every night! You don’t know!” Red shouted, struggling against Sun Mei who was trying to keep her from killing him.  
“God, I could kill you!” Sarge tried to pull away from Doc but he kept her firmly in her place.   
George stood up from her spot next to Addy, then and went over to Warren and 10K, sitting next to the boy so that he was between her and Warren. She had her fair share of experience with PTSD and knew a panic attack when she saw one and thought she may be able to at least help him.   
“Someone tell me what the hell Murphy did or I swear to god I will bash his head in and we’ll never had to deal with his shit again,” Addy said in a dangerous voice as she stood up, Z-Whacker in hand.  
“Addy, put that down,” Warren demanded, through gritted teeth.  
Sarge scoffed, “Don’t you know? That piece of shit tried to turn your brother into one of his mindless blends. And he bit him on the back of the neck, like a coward, so 10K didn’t even know why he felt like a mindless blend.”  
“We had to kill Tommy just to save his life, ” Red glared daggers at the red man. “Now, Sun Mei, I love you, but if you don’t let go of me I will lose my friggin’ mind on you.”  
“What?” Addy said in an almost choked voice, dropping Z-Whacker to the ground and slowly turning to face Murphy, “You tried to make him like Cassandra?” Her voice was low and dangerous, and she could hear her heartbeat in her ears as adrenaline coursed through her veins.  
10K turned his head to look at Addy, slightly surprised by her tone. He hadn’t seen her like this since Mack died, and though he knew she cared about him, he didn’t realize just how much.  
“Addy, just wait a minute–” Warren attempted.  
“He tried time and time again to make Tommy one of his playthings,” Red said, tears forming in her eyes as she finally pulled away from the female doctor, “He tried to take away what made him human! He wanted a mindless sniper!”  
“—No!” Addy said, turning to face Warren, “He killed Mack, he let Lucy die to save him, he changed Cassandra when you know she would’ve rather died being herself than live as his bitch, and he tried to do the same to 10K! There is no more CDC, there is no cure, so why are we still keeping him around?! He’s not the cure, he’s a curse!”  
“Addy…” Doc said, softly. “He’s a part of the team. He’s one of us.”  
“He’s nothing!” Sarge screamed. “Let go of me, Doc! I need to help 10K.”  
The young marine pulled away from the oldest member of their group and ran to her boyfriend. George placed her hand on his back, trying to ground him back to reality, and spoke quietly, “Hey, 10K… Can you look at me?”  
“Come on, baby,” Sarge placed her hand on her boyfriend’s cheek. “Focus on George for me, hmm? Can you do that?”  
10K nodded slightly and turned to look at George, his eyes wide, wild. His breathing still shallow and fast, but he tried focused on George’s face.  
“Good,” she said gently, “Now don’t listen to them, okay? Don’t pay attention to anything else. It’s just you and me; and I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”  
“We’re a family, Addy,” Doc spoke in a low voice. “If we give up on each other, we’re no better than the Z’s...”  
“He never wanted to be part of the family, Doc,” Addy said, “He tried to ditch us more times than I can count. And he abandoned Lucy, his own blood, until she came in handy to save his life. The Z’s were never the problem. I learned that from Lucy. Murphy’s the problem. He’s a life ruiner, Doc. He ruins people’s lives.”  
“This is the apocalypse. None of us are the best versions of ourselves. The best we can do is try, and he is tryin’. He’s changed so much since Murphyville. You gotta believe me. I love 10K like he was my own son, and I wouldn’t let Murphy anywhere near him if I didn't believe that he’s trying.”  
“What could he possibly do to make up for all the shit he’s put us all through?” Addy asked, “How could you forgive him?”  
“He’s saved our lives. On several occasions. He’s actually picked up a weapon and fought back against the Z’s, against people. He’s changed.”  
“We’ve thought he changed before, too. He does something halfway decent and then he turns around and tries to screw us over, again. I don’t trust him, Doc.”  
“I know you don’t, but you trust me, right? And Warren? We’re not going to let him hurt 10K again. We’re not going to let him hurt anyone.”  
“Or I will, personally, kill him,” Warren nodded in agreement.  
Addy nodded slightly, though she was still hesitant, “…Okay. But if he even tries to do anything to 10K—“  
“Shoot on sight,” Warren nodded and looked over at 10K, whose breathing was finally evening out as he began to calm down, “You alright, baby boy?”  
10K nodded, looking down at his lap. He hated feeling weak. He hated his family having to see him weak. He knew panic attacks were normal, he used to get them all the time as a kid. But this was different. He had a family to protect now. How could they trust him to protect them when he was going around having panic attacks?  
Red and Sarge ran to him and engulfed him in a hug. They didn't care about stupid things like that. They only cared that he was okay. They loved him more than anything else in this damned apocalypse.  
“Dibs on killing him next time he fucks up,” Sarge glared at Murphy.  
Red ran her fingers over the bite mark on the back of 10K’s neck, “Don’t worry, Tommy. We won’t let him hurt you.”  
“I know… I’m sorry-- I just…” he shook his head. How could they still love him so much, when he felt so stupid and weak?  
“You don’t have to be sorry,” Sarge rested her head against his chest, “He does.”  
10K let out a soft sigh and laid his cheek against the top of Sarge’s head.  
“We love you,” Red took 10K’s hand in both of hers.  
“Love you, too.”  
“Good,” Sarge smiled, trying to lighten the mood a little. “Because if you didn't, I would have to end you.”  
“You really want to kill something tonight, don’t you?” The boy laughed.  
“You should know by now… I always want to kill something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONCE AGAIN, GIVE MY GOOD FRIEND LIZZY SOME LOVE @Lizzy_Writes on Ao3, go read her other fanfics because SHE IS AMAZING. And follow her on Tumblr @lizzysong because SHE IS AMAZING. Did I say that already? Whoops. Well, she is amazing. Give her some recognition and validation. Without her, this fic would be nonexistent. 
> 
> Lots Of Love,  
> Your Apocalyptic Goddess (you don't have to bow, I'm very nice)


	3. Motherly Chats & Bad Tree Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first mention of A Series of Unfortunate Events is in the chapter. Uh... some gay shit... I don't know.

“Hey,” George placed her hand on the small of Addy’s back. “Are you alright?”  
Addy shrugged and glanced over at the three younger members of DXD, “Don’t have much choice…”  
“... Come on,” George held her hand out to the redhead. “Let’s find you someplace to sleep.”  
Addy took George’s hand, “Yea, okay…”  
George led Addy away from the campfire, where they previously been, to the more secluded area where the tents were set up.   
“I’m… sorry you had to see all that,” Addy stared at the ground as they walked.  
“I didn’t know that bite was from Murphy,” George felt the need to let Addy know. “When your friends first came, 10K told us that bite was from Sarge. And I figured it was entirely possible, considering my tent is right next to theirs and I can hear everything that goes on in there.”  
Addy let out an amused, if slightly uncomfortable, laugh, “I’ve learned a lot more about 10K’s personal life today than I ever wanted to know…”   
“I’m sorry! They have a lot of weird kinks! You think I wanted to know?” George grinned. “I didn’t ask for them to set up camp next to me.”  
Addy let out a laugh, “I love my brother — I would kill for him — but god is he fucking weird…”  
“I completely agree,” George laughed. “I have met my fair share of weirdos in the apocalypse, but your friends… They really are the weirdest god damn people I’ve ever met.”  
“I’d tell you that you’ll get used to them… but you won’t. They’ve only gotten weirder the longer I’ve known them.”  
“I’ve known Red for over a year, I’ve known Sarge and 10K for a couple months. They never cease to amaze me with their weirdness. What a nightmare,” George laughed. “So, we all have our own little makeshift tents. Obviously the three weirdos share. But we are heading back out tomorrow, so, tonight you can… Sleep with Warren? I just don’t think your parents would approve of you sleeping in my tent.”  
“Oh yeah, there would be merciless teasing from Doc and never ending lectures from Warren.”  
“Probably for the best. Uh, her tent is right across from mine. You need anything,” she patted the top of her tent. “You can just come see me.”  
Addy gave the brunette a small smile and nodded, “Thanks; I will.”  
And with that, the two women parted ways; Addy in Warren’s tent and George in her own.  
Within minutes, Warren joined her surrogate post apocalyptic daughter in her tent, “Hey, Baby Girl! You stayin’ with me tonight?”  
“Yea,” Addy said, with a smile, “If that’s okay?”  
“It’s better than okay!” Warren wrapped her arms around the young Zombie killer. “I’m glad to have you home.”  
Addy wrapped her arms around the woman in return, maybe a little to tight, and she buried her face in the woman’s shoulder, “Glad to be home… I’m sorry about earlier… is 10K alright?”  
“He’s tougher than he looks,” Warren promised, pressing a firm, motherly kiss against Addy’s forehead. “A lot has changed since we last saw you. Baby Boy has not one but two girlfriends who both can and will kill for him. And even though he doesn’t need protection, he has it in them… in all of us.”  
Addy gave Warren a small nod, “Guess it’s gonna take a while for me to catch up…”  
“That’s okay. You take your time, girl. Maybe take George on a date, huh?” Warren smirked, teasingly. “I haven’t been talking you up for the past month for nothing.”  
“...Well, I really hope you did a better job than Doc.”  
“Please,” Warren rolled her eyes. “I was very subtle. And now I am going to subtly talk her up to you. She saved my life… during Black Summer. Just a kid, in college. And she’s beautiful. And she’s so smart. And I think she is absolutely perfect for you.”  
“Believe me,” Addy laughed. “I don’t need anyone to talk her up to me… but I could use some help remembering how to talk like a person when she’s around… I’m not good at this dating thing anymore… maybe I never was. My longest relationship was Mack… and the apocalypse just kinda… pushed us together.”  
“Just be yourself, baby, and she’s going to love you,” Warren promised. “The apocalypse might’ve pushed you and Mack together, but you loved that boy. And I know that he loved you. And I think… if you give yourself the chance, you can have that again.”  
Addy smiled, though there was a tinge of sadness behind her eyes, she nodded slightly, “I really hope you’re right… I don’t want to be alone anymore.”  
Warren gave her a sad smile, “Now, you get some rest, beautiful girl, I’m taking first watch,” she grabbed a gun from under her pillow, checking it for ammo. “I’ll see you in a couple’a hours.”  
The younger girl nodded and laid down on the blanket Warren had laid out on the floor in her tent, placing her Z-Whacker on the ground next to her, “Thanks, Warren.”  
“Goodnight,” The older woman sang out before leaving the tent to go stand guard against Z’s and another other human assholes who might try and kill her family while they slept.  
It didn't take Addy long to fall asleep; it had been a long apocalypse and over a year since she’d had someone watching her back-- and that someone being Warren only made her feel that much safer.   
===  
The next morning, everyone was awoken by the same sound; a gunshot. A single gunshot in the distance followed by dead silence. An ominous but understandable start to any post apocalyptic morning.   
George and Addy came running out of their tents at the same time to see what was going on. They both found the silence more unnerving than the gunshot itself. Gunshots they could handle. Being swarmed by Z’s they could handle. Someone trying to kidnap and enslave them… they could handle. What they couldn’t handle was the silence. Silence always meant bad things.  
“What was that?” Addy asked, the anxiety clear in her voice.  
“I don’t like the quiet,” George said, lowly, as 10K, Red and Sarge hurried out of their tent, getting dressed as they did so, because they were a giant fucking polyamorous mess.  
“Where’s Warren?” 10K asked, buttoning his shirt with his only hand, awkwardly trying not to drop his gun as he did so.  
“Me neither…” Addy said, turning then to face 10K, “I don’t know, she took first watch last night and— oh my god, she never woke me up!”  
“Nobody panic. Let’s split up,” Sarge raised her gun. “Meet back here in an hour. Doc, Murphy, go west. Addy, George, take the east. We’ll go South. Sun Mei, stay here in case she returns.”  
“Who put you in charge? You’re like twelve?” Murphy scoffed.  
“You can be in charge when you get more ass than I do,” She rolled her eyes at the red man and led 10K and Red to the South, not waiting for a response.  
“I don’t think we should just split up,” Addy said to George, Doc, and Murphy, knowing that it was already too late to convince her younger brother and his girlfriends to stay with the rest of the group. “Did anyone hear specifically what direction that gunshot came from?”  
“I was asleep,” Sun Mei shook her head. “Best guess? East?”  
“Much as I hate to split up, we could cover more ground that way,” Doc furrowed his brow. “We gotta find Warren, man. Just maybe don’t go too far.”  
“Yea, and what’s the worst that can happen? It’s our campsite. We’ve got the advantage here.” Murphy pulled his sword out of his cane. “Let’s go find out woman!”  
Addy raised an eyebrow when Murphy pulled out his sword cane and made a mental note to ask Doc about it later. She sighed but nodded, “Yeah… I guess that is what Warren would tell us to do. Meet up back here in an hour?”  
“Okay, but be careful,” Doc nodded. “And no funny business, you two. We’re splitting up to find Warren not to give you alone time!”   
Addy sighed and exchanged a look with George before turning back to her surrogate father and giving him a salute, “Yes, sir! No funny business, sir!”   
Doc chuckled and hurried off with Murphy who seemed a little too eager to go find Warren, leaving George and Addy on their own.  
“Shall we?” George offered the redhead her arm. It was always romantic to go off to random places and probably die while looking for one’s surrogate apocalyptic mom.  
Addy laughed slightly and linked her arm with George’s. “I promise the next date we’ll get dinner or something.”  
“No funny business,” Sun Mei shouted after them, jokingly, as the two began walking off.  
“Oh, there’s going to be a next date?” George teased, looking around for their missing teammate, completely ignoring Sun Mei. There would be funny business if she wanted there to be funny business!  
“Well, as long as we don’t die horrible, gruesome deaths today,” Addy nodded with a smirk.  
“But that’s my favorite thing to do on first dates!” She pouted, jokingly. “Warren! Where the hell are you, woman?!”  
Addy laughed before following the young woman’s lead and yelling for the woman who had practically raised her through the apocalypse, “Warren?! Warren we need you! If you’re not around who’s gonna keep me from killing Murphy, huh?!”  
“Warren! It would be so much easier for me to romance your daughter if we knew that you’re alive!” George shouted, dramatically.  
“Warren! It’s hard enough starting a relationship in the apocalypse without worry that my mom is dead!”  
“Warren! This might be the apocalypse but I think we all know what is a little more important right now! I’ll give you a hint! It’s me romancing your daughter!”  
“Warren, please! For the love of god, let us know you’re not dead so George can romance me!”  
“Warren!” George shouted, wandering around, looking for the older woman. “Where the hell are you?!”  
“…I don’t think this is working,” Addy sighed, swinging her Z-Whacker around with her free arm.  
“We may need to consider a different strategy,” The other woman agreed. “Any ideas?”  
Addy shook her head slightly, “I’ve been wandering around for two years looking for Warren and the rest of my family and I just found them now. I don’t think my strategies are working.”  
“... Let’s get to higher ground. Maybe we could see her from the tree tops.”  
Addy nodded, turning serious, “Right. Sounds like a plan.”  
George led her to the tallest tree in the near area and gave the other girl a leg up. Once Addy was up there, she leaned down and offered the brunette her hand. George used all of her upper body weight to pull herself up (with Addy’s help) and found herself standing a couple inches from the redhead, “… Hi.”  
Addy smiled almost hesitantly, her eyes flicking away for a second with something akin to embarrassment before focusing back on the woman in front of her. “…Hi.”

“Hey!” a young man’s accusatory voice called up to them from the bottom of the tree, “We said we were going south! —And we’re supposed to be looking for Warren!”  
George almost fell out of the tree at the sound of 10K’s voice. After regaining her composer, she glanced down at him, “We thought we’d be able to see further from up here.”  
“Having sex in a tree isn’t as easy as you’d think -- I know this from experience,” Sarge called up from a couple feet away.  
“Stop telling me about your ‘experiences’ before I’m never able to look any of you in the eyes again!” Addy yelled down, “And where’s Red? We’re supposed to be looking for Warren!” She mimicked 10K’s earlier words, “We can’t afford to lose another person!”  
“She’s right behind us--” 10K turned around only to find his girlfriend was, in fact, not behind him. “Oh, crap! Sarge?”  
His other girlfriend shrugged, “Thought she was behind us. And are you saying our experiences are not universal? Because the universe is very small now and we’re not that weird.”  
Addy sighed with a quiet, “Shit,” before looking back down at her brother, “Stay there, I’m coming down.”  
While the three of them joked around, George kept her eyes peeled for anything moving in the distance. Her hand instinctively went to a spyglass in her pocket that her aunt had given to her years ago, way before Black Summer. It was the only thing she still had from her life pre-Z. Her aunt had always joked about getting it from a secret organization she was a part of… but George suspected it was just one of the perks of being the Duchess of Winnipeg. Free toys.  
“-- Your experiences are absolutely not universal! Stop telling me about them, you weirdo!”  
“Wait... “ George interrupted the redhead’s rant, removing her spyglass from her pocket and opening it, looking out into the distance. “Eyes on Warren!”  
“Really!?” Addy asked, taking the spyglass from the other woman, and looking in the same direction.  
“Where is she?” 10K looked up at the two women in the tree from where he stood on the ground with his girlfriend.   
“Give me your gun,” George demanded.  
“Why? What’s happening?” Sarge asked.  
“Why do you need my gun?” 10K questioned.  
“10K! Give her your gun!” Addy shouted, “Oh my god, give her your gun!”  
“What the hell is happening!?” 10K tossed his gun up to the brunette, followed by Sarge throwing hers up to the redhead.   
“Warren just needs a little help… which we intend to provide,” George brought the scope of 10K’s gun to her eye. “I just hope we have enough ammo… that’s got to be at least ten Z’s.”  
“Do you need my help?” 10K asked, prepared to climb that tree one-handed.  
“Just wait…” Addy pulled the trigger of Sarge’s gun, blasting the head off of a Z. “Go. You can help on foot.”  
The young women dropped their own weapons down to the ground for the other two- George’s axe and the Z-Whacker.  
“I prefer fighting from a distance, if possible-”  
“Go!” Addy shouted, ignoring Sarge’s request. In the time it would take for the snipers to climb the tree and Addy and George run to a broken down car which Lieutenant Warren was currently trapped inside, the woman would be turned Talker.  
“Hey, Addy?” 10K called up, picking up her Z-Whacker.  
“What!?” Addy took another shot, which ricochetted off of the car. “Damn it!”  
“Keep an eye out for Red?”  
“You got it! Now, go!”   
The two older women continued shooting at the small herd of Z’s, trying carefully not to hit Warren, but neither of them were the shots 10K and Sarge were.   
“Shit,” George whispered as she missed another Z, “I am not so hot with a sniper… I prefer up close and personal…”  
“I hear ya,” Addy grunted in frustration as she shot one Z and missed another, “Up close, where you can really just get covered in blood.”  
George chuckled before trying to take another shot, “Damn it… I’m out of ammo.”  
“Me, too,” Addy grumbled, looking through the scope as the kids arrived at the car. “Just in time, it looks like.”  
10K and Sarge came upon Warren who was, in fact, trapped in a car, surrounded by Z’s, trying to stab anything that came near her. The older woman looked just about ready to give up when she saw them.  
“Baby Boy, it is damn good to see you! Where the hell have you been!? I ran out of bullets an hour ago!” Warren shouted, kicking a Zombie’s head out of the car window it was trying to get through.   
“We’ve been looking!” Sarge shouted, cutting the head clean off with George’s axe. She glanced at the car, which had more bullet holes than any of the Z’s, “They are terrible shots!”  
10K nodded in agreement, stabbing the Z-Whacker through two Zombie heads, effectively killing the last of them, “How did you even end up all the way out here?”   
Warren pulled herself out of the car and dusted her pants off, “Some Z’s showed up in the middle of the night, so I tried to lure them away. But before I could kill them, more just kept showing up! If I didn't know better, I’d think they plotted this.”  
“You could’ve woken me up; I would have helped you,” 10K scolded his mother figure.  
“There was only three of them! I figured, I’d lure them away, kill ‘em, and that would be the end of it! I didn't expect more to keep following!”  
10K wrapped his arms around the woman, careful not to stab her with the Z-Whacker, “Well, I’m glad you’re okay.”  
“Ah, you can’t get rid of me that easily,” Warren wrapped one arm around each of the kids, smiling down at them.  
10K chuckled, “We should go catch back up with Addy and George.”  
===  
“Come on,” Addy shouldered Sarge’s gun. “Let’s go find the others.”  
“Give me a sec, I’m gonna try to find Red,” George raised her spyglass to her eye and looked through it. There were rows and rows of weird symbols on it, as if it doubled as some sort of decoder ring… er… spyglass? And there was a strange shape of an eye on the end of it. There was a small compass on one side, too. “Got her! Wish Doc and Murphy. That way… I think they’re heading back towards Sun Mei.”  
“Oh good,” Addy said, her voice chalk full of relief. “Hey… Where did you get that spyglass?”  
“It’s… the only thing I have left from my life pre-Z,” She closed the spyglass and looked down at it. “It was given to me by a brave and noble woman.”  
Addy nodded and placed a comforting hand on the young woman’s shoulder, “I understand. I had my mother’s — my actual, pre-Z mom, not Warren — locket for the first few years of the apocalypse. …Then I gave it to a girl who… well she didn’t make it. Don’t know what happened to it after that. Always kinda wished I’d kept it. …Was that brave and noble woman your family?”  
“She was my aunt,” George nodded, pocketing the spyglass and jumping down from the tree. “Last I saw her was before Black Summer. She had inherited a position as a duchess in Winnipeg. I don’t even know if she made it.”  
George held her arms up and caught Addy, who jumped down right after her.  
“Well, if she’s anything like you… I’m sure she made it,” Addy smiled, locking eyes with the brunette. Once again, they found themselves only inches apart.  
“I was, uh... a long way down the line, but it is completely possible that I am the only living member of my bloodline. I may be the duchess of Winnipeg,” George spoke softly, looking up at the slightly taller woman.   
“Well then,” Addy smirked, teasingly, grabbing 10K’s sniper from her. “You definitely shouldn’t be carrying your own weapons! Duchesses have people carry their weapons for them!”  
“I don’t want to be a duchess,” George snatched the gun back, rather hastily. “I just want everyone to live together, peacefully, in equality. I’m no better than anyone else. I can carry my own weapons.”  
Addy held her hands up in surrender, realizing she must have hit a nerve, “Fair enough.”  
Before George could apologize for snapping at the redhead, 10K, Sarge, and Warren were walking towards them, talking about something that Sarge clearly wasn’t too happy about.  
“I can’t believe you think they’re more badass than I am, Warren! They can’t even shoot!” Sarge complained, pouting like a young child.   
“No, baby, I said that they are the most badass women I know. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. I don’t think you’re human.” Warren chuckled, heartily, wrapping an arm around the young girl.   
“She’s got a point,” 10K smirked, trying to repress a laugh.  
Sarge crossed her arms, “I hate you.”  
“I love you, too, Sarge.”  
“We saw Red from the tree top, she’s with Doc and Murphy,” George interrupted their conversation as they neared, “They were heading back to camp.”  
“Oh, good, because Red is officially my favorite significant other,” Sarge glared at 10K as she and George exchanged weapons. “And you guys are sucky shots.”  
“It’s not my fault their Warren’s favorites!” 10K said, rather defensively, gesturing to Addy and George. “You do suck at shooting, though,” he turned that last comment to the older women, handing Addy back the Z-Whacker.  
“Here,” Addy said, taking the gun off her shoulder and exchanging it for her weapon, “…It’s out of ammo.”  
“Yeah, I’m not surprised.” He gave her a smirk and she rolled her eyes.  
“I don’t know why they’re Warren’s favorites when they can’t even shoot straight,” Sarge huffed.  
“Bold of you to assume I can do anything straight,” George challenged as the five began heading back to their campsite.   
“Well played,” Addy said with a smile at the joke.  
10K narrowed his eyes in confusion, “I… don’t get it.”  
“…Because we’re gay.”  
“Yeah, I know that, but why would that stop you from being able to shoot straight? How you shoot doesn’t have anything to do with who you’re attracted to? I like girls and I shoot great. Sarge is pan and she’s the best shot I know.”  
Addy laughed and slung an arm around her surrogate brother’s shoulder, “I see no one taught you about humor while I was gone.”  
“Old people are really weird,” Sarge shrugged.  
“You’re… We’re not old? We’re barely older than you guys!” George made a face.  
“And now you guys see what I put up with without you,” Warren laughed.

“God, Warren, I am so sorry,” said Addy, resulting in 10K making a face at her.

Red ran to 10K and Sarge as the five approached the campsite, and boy, did she look mad.   
“You two have to stop leaving me!” Red shouted, hitting 10K’s chest. “You assholes!”   
“Roberta!” Murphy hurried to her side, “Are you okay? What happened?”  
“All good,” She gave him a kind smile. “Just a couple’a Z’s. Nothing out of the usual.”  
“Wait, why are we the assholes? You’re the one who wandered off!” 10K said, defensively.  
“I say we blame 10K!” Sarge smirked, still upset with him because she wasn’t Warren’s favorite. “He is an asshole!”  
“Hey!”  
Red sighed, “You’re not an asshole… but you have to stop ditching me! Tell him, Doc!”  
“What? Uh…” Doc hurried over to give his surrogate son a stern talking to, “She’s right, Kid. You gotta keep an eye on both of your girlfriends. I think sometimes, when you two run off, Red feels a little left out. You two already have a lot in common what with all the guns and… I don’t know, whatever it is you kids are into. But you gotta remember to give Red some of your attention, too. Just cause you and Sarge are glued together at the hip doesn’t mean you can just leave Red out.”  
“... I’m sorry,” 10K wrapped his arms around the younger of his two girlfriends. “We don’t mean to ditch you. We’re just always on the move and when I move, Sarge moves. I guess we are kinda glued at the hip… I’m sorry.”  
Red gave him a small smile, “Well, maybe if I glued myself to your--”  
“Red, I beg of you. Please, do not finish that sentence,” Addy said with a grimace.   
“Ew, Addy, I’m not Sarge! I was going to say, maybe if I glued myself to your back back,” the younger girl hopped on the boy’s back like a young child begging for a piggyback ride, “That way I don’t have to walk… and you can’t lose me!”  
“Well, maybe I could glue myself to-”  
“Sarge!” Sun Mei shouted and Warren covered the young girls mouth.   
“... Hanging out with you people is the most stressed out I’ve ever been in my life,” Murphy grumbled, turning away and returning to his tent. This only made the three polyamorous kids laugh, rather proud of themselves for stressing Murphy out to some capacity.   
“So what’s the plan for the day?” Addy asked as soon as Murphy left, “Start making our way to NewMerica? Or are we waiting for more people?”  
“We head to NewMerica,” Warren nodded, removing her hand from in front of Sarge’s mouth. “That’s where we can meet up with any other survivors.”  
“I agree,” George rested her axe over her shoulder. “We pack up and we go. There is nothing more we can do here.”  
“Sounds good,” Addy nodded. With that, the team split up into their different tents to pack up and prepare to get back on the road and start their long, carless journey to NewMerica.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who watched the Netflix ASOUE, yes, Jacquelyn is George's aunt. Probably gonna be more on that in the future.   
> As always, send your love to @Lizzy_Writes she deserves THE WORLD. She is always putting up with my bullshit and helping me out with my family drama. Follow her @lizzysong on tumblr. Give her all of that much deserved love and attention.   
> And Lizzy will be editing chapter 4, so, look out for that. It'll be up in a few days, maybe. GIVE HER LOVE!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this, even though it was just my friend and I bullshitting for fun. If you're interested, Chapter 2 will probably be up soon because I haven't been this motivated to write in a long ass time.
> 
> Once again, please show some love to my co-writer Lizzy_Writes (lizzysong on tumblr). If it weren't for her CONSTANTLY talking about this show, I'd have never started watching Z Nation and that would have been a crime. 
> 
> OH! AND! If you want to follow our shit storm of a roleplay, we have roleplay accounts on tumblr, mine is glitteryzompocalypse and Lizzy's is lizzyshitpostszn 
> 
> Sorry for the long ass writer's notes, but I can't promise every chapter won't have them. They probably will. And they will all probably be seven paragraphs of me just telling y'all to follow Lizzy, because she is AMAZING. A true gift to the fandom. Save us all some time and just GO SHOW HER LOVE!!!!!!!!


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